Beautiful life

Pigs have wings

2011-08-02T01:01:00.000-07:00

Twiggy lives in the leafy corner
Of a pink-flowered lawn.
He wished to fly
And fly till the dawn.

Twiggy the piggy was fat,
Eating and sleeping all day
Glancing at Biggie, his friend
Who lived a foot away!

Biggie was a sad piggy
Who failed to fly.
He is always sacred
And never does he try.

Every day Twiggy tried
Wishing to kiss the blue sky-
Believing he has wings
He was certain that he would fly!

On fine morning we woke up,
He found himself in the air.
Thinking that he is flying-
He sang lord's prayer.

His stomach chruning,
His head a lil' dizzy,
"Twiggy is flying" he shouted!
Biggie, but, was all tizzy!

"My friend is stupid" Biggie thought -
"Pigs never fly!
If pigs had wings,
Wouldn't I try!"

"Once I too tried" -
Said Biggie crying,
"But if you want life,
You have to be complying!"

Twiggy closed his eyes,
Enjoying up in the air.
Till he saw a man-
With an angry glare!

Flight crashed and hit hard,
Thrown in the back of the car.
Twiggy knew the strange pang
And he stared blankly afar!

Gorge

2011-03-27T02:36:00.000-07:00

Oh the homeless, the permanence

And the voyager -

Splashed in the raging stream,

Where do you hide?

The loud screaming wind -

Be Gentle,

Summoning whom

In this lonely infinite?

Oh the brimful river,

Trembling impatience,

Clouding the banks!

The dormant little drops

Thunder the sky aloud -

They are sparkling

Gorgeous blue!

The homeless, the permanence

Nor the voyager,

Neither there are,

Stars in the nightly black!

Gift of Cheesecake by Uncle Failure

2011-03-23T00:27:00.000-07:00

In a comprehensive manner I (purely out of my own personal experience) hereby list out the following benefits of failure -

1) The knowledge of what I cannot do

2) The knowledge of what others can which I can't

3) How far behind I am from the last person in the race that I can almost lead the next group

4) What I have been doing is not my best but much less than what I can still make out

5) I have started waking up at a decent time in the morning and work till a little late

6) At last I am sincere in life (ummm... yes I can say that) :)

7) People say I am losing weight (walah!!!)

8) At the rock bottom, I have nothing to lose, so I am super tension free :)

9) The already there bad habits are walking out of life.
(....yeah...... I know.... but blogging is not a bad habit, come on!)

Finally) Everyday I get to know how much more I could have done and have had a nice time now - but at the same time I would not have had the life's most precious benefits which I have just enumerated :)

Cheers!

Signs

2011-01-29T02:27:00.000-08:00

A short film. Features in Schweppes Short Film Festival. Of many short films I am watching these days, this one is one of the best. The background score/track is involving and holds the viewers' attention aptly. The film depicts the human instinct towards communication. Relationship between two person is merely influenced by time and words. This is the crux. it is all about communicating with a person freely without holding ourselves back. Important, though, is not to have any prejudices outlook. So, sit back, watch and Enjoy!!

The Tensed Me

2011-01-27T07:41:00.000-08:00

They don't only haunt your nights but also has a role-playing in your daily life. I say this today not because of the reason that sometimes I want to talk nonsense. This year twenty eleven has been one of such kind. It seems that dark scary UFOs are hovering over me and my life. When I spot one and try to run away hiding from it, I end up being the target of another. :( Poor ME!
Oh shut up.. Its no use being such a cry baby myself. My mentor says that we must remember that we alone are the scriptwriter's of our lives. It gives you power to take control of your life.
Actually, the UFOs are even following in my sub-conscious mind. I see post-night-movie shows. Movies are chiefly scientific fiction and thriller depicting my inner dark self. Did I mention that these movies make my dreams...Yes I "dream" them
The scariest was the one I saw last night.
A more or less barren land with scorching sun up in the sky. Some rude (you could say just by looking at their faces) people, actually three of them, as far as I remember. We, I and many other people like me were standing as if in some kind of punishment. Indeed it was. The super-bad guy suddenly declared that one of us would be killed. Since it was MY dream, the focus was obviously myself and I became that unfortunate one. I was taken away from the group by one of the other bad guys. He held a weapon (like a kitchen knife) in his hands. I was angry more than scared (don't know why). Hence it follows. I snatched the weapon and put it into my own head. (haha, thankfully it was just a dream, **phew**)
My head ached and I fell down. Someone dragged me to some secluded dilapidated room. I thought to myself, What is actually the reason for all this I don't know!!
Right then, I heard from afar the super bad-guy screaming "Alright, for the rest of you, you will be downgraded to masters"!!

[to some of you it might not make any sense, but to people whom it does, I am sure you can connect to the mental tension I tried to describe :) ]

A for Avi

2010-06-29T06:01:00.000-07:00

Those were days when we used to hop on heavy bags and gulp down the breakfast to rush through the gates and run to our friends and smile towards the coming five hours. My 13th year, my 8th standard, my friends and un-sweet thing among these was the shuffling of friends, of sections, of teachers and of new faces. Philosophy says whatever happens to us always for good. either tangible or intangible. It indeed was. The lessons of friendship were fresh, were new and were revised. With new companions, new squabbles and new smiles. That was when I met Avi. A young yet tall, very tall boy wearing knee-length blue trouser uniform exposing his awkward hairy but well built legs. Wearing self acclaimed charismatic air, he went around in the corridors and stairs bubbling and cheering. I saw him very little among us, in the class, I somehow did not share sweet nothings with him. Yet there were many twilight when I thought about him, many songs I hummed for him, many times I wished him.
In one such mundane day, in between more mundane classes, he said that he to wishes the same. He said aloud "I love you". My answer was oblivion. Cowardice. I unwished my wishes. Thereafter, this game brought me back to the same point but I chose to choose the other move. I chose to lose. Again in an untoward mundane night, across a few cities, we talked. We talked into dawn. I said aloud "I love you". I chose to win.
Now I can say what Avi is to me. He is my way of defining life. He is my part of happiness. The companionship is more than prized. My promises, my complaints, my tears, my disappointments, my joys, my excitements all are in a circle centering him. He is an instantiation of all the relationships to me. He is the most treasured friend. He is the strictness of parents when I am deluded. He is the chocolate, the balloon, the flowers, the rainbow, the rains, the warm sun, the fleeting beautiful snow, the crescendo of jazz and everything that I love. He is my way of love. He is the realisation life.
He is meaning.

Something to write

2010-06-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

It seems almost an era I have posted last. Blogging perhaps is my way of talking to myself whenever I want to, whatsoever. Now a days I somehow instantly make a story out of everything that my eyes catch a glance of. Nevertheless it can be a half finished tube of squeezy kissan jam having a cartoon of some monkay called King Louie who happens to love mango over banana! I know I am not making any sense. I am very tired these days. Rather my mind is. Hanging between leaving behind the tangible and intangible things and memories of past 23 years and the impending four, most exciting, happening, lonely and creative years of my life. Yes, I will be going somewhere. And that somewhere is very far away from my home. Though it is no more than 3 and a half hours of flying across many countries and above many homes and roads, I am afraid of not being able to come back through the same 3 and a half hours of flying that easily. I am yet to discover the numerously many other stuffs that I am afraid of. I still am numb to the feeling of looking everywhere around me and yet not finding out any of the known faces and smiles. I am afraid of changes. Changes that are sudden and untoward. I know I should not forebode evil.

Okay, yes I am happy and excited too nonetheless. I will be cooking whatever I feel like having. Now thats interesting to me, though it might not be for many others. In that case, I can cook for them also. I will be spending a lot of time doing nothing and yet not being shouted at. I am headed to discover a place where there exists four official language out of which I know only one and also completely dumb about the other three. I hope I will be happy always as people will find it preferrable to speak in the other three languages if they are talking not so good about me.

Overall, I think I need to experience every bit of it. And I am hopeful that each one will be a treasure for life.

Regret

2009-11-12T23:35:00.000-08:00

as dictionary says, means to feel sorrow or remorse for. A friend says you should not Regret for anything that you do in life. Can it give birth to arrogance or vanquish self-discouragement! Should we or should we not? Is it answerable? Millions of people with billions of thoughts passing by thier minds. Regret is way to find our mistakes. Regret is to stop taking a step further. Confusing is what I can term it as.

p.s.I will try to write something more meaningful next time!

Mine but not mine!

2008-09-12T09:21:00.000-07:00

These day I am riding the tumultuous waves of my life where suddenly I find that I did not care for any life jacket till now and it is only this moment that I am desperate to fetch one but I dont have anyone nearby! Not making much of sense I would better help my expressions take shelter in poetry rather to scatter haywired in some nonsense prose.

I was younger then

In school, fun and frolic

Amazed with the new things around

But could hardly realise the clock tick!

As I grew up a little,

Learnt to learn non-book stuff

Curiosity took homework's place

Making ways for excuses and bluff!

"Best" made a difference

When it took its place before the word friend.

Fantasies and special things cropped up

Thoughts and dreams were there to defend.

In such times I found

An apple, entycing and sweet

Wished for it day and night

Hoping it would be a great treat!

It was MY apple, I thought

Hope is what all I did.

Surprised to find one day

Even the apple wanted that for it only I bid.

The bond grew, days passed.

I did nothing but waited

For the time to come

When it could be treated.

Being skeptical and crazy

Don't know what happened.

The apple got lost in time

And I saw myself stranded.

Cried and repented

For not having it in time.

But all in vain as

What I did was almost a crime.

Years later,

In a market I found

That same apple again,

Felt it was happy as I was around.

Again that wish

Again that situation.

This time, I decided,

No skepticism and no deviation.

I ran to grab it

Happy that I could finally.

Picked it up in my hands

Just to find that it was bitten already!

After a long time

2008-08-24T20:47:00.000-07:00

i am writing again. Past couple of months deserved much more than 24 hours a day. The cover story being my academics. 3 years of mental torture yielded a degree and a black hat on my head. "Graduate" is the new adjective. The sadist side of me pushed me into another two years of higher degree torture after which I will be master of something [comp. sc. in this case]. These days when I see a small figure wearing some uniform and running with a bag on its back which is in fact bigger, a chill runs down my spine thinking about the two terrifying board exams and then the various consecutive onslaughts that is awaiting its way! :D
Pondering on the other happenings in these months, I see myself with increasing dimensions like an air balloon - my room becoming more and more messy day by day - my pc breaking down every now and then and putting all the work load on my lappy - my maid taking unusual long breaks making me do all household stuffs - ending with our apartment being painted after some six years and it looks like a new bride now!
Moving on to the most exciting and pleasant episode.
Spending the whole nights over phone, playing antakshari and me shrugging off in the mid of the game, planning for coming days, "discussing" about music where the discussion stops very soon and I find myself totally shut up while the other end of the vodafone kolkata-bangalore line wrecks thier nerves on the non stop lectures, hearing all-enthusiastic-reports on cricket and responding to it as POLITELY as possible....all this and more were flashing by my mind when I was waiting in music world for Avi to arrive. Following few days were the most story-like days I have ever spent in my life. Our hangouts were almost all over the city starting from princep ghat till tobin road (sorry,only kolkatans can figure out :P).
I got my arm burnt by half consumed gold-flake. Roamed around city centre when it was declared red alert. Helped the coffee-day owner earn a million more. City cab-drivers almost became our kins. Fought over travelling by metro or road. I learned how to talk to people - anyone and everyone - as if they are a part of your family. Hassling over his career plans which got on his nerves just after even a minute of discussion. Finally spending two most difficult days when Avi was in Yashwantpur Express and I was flipping through the pages of an old novel.
We spent this couple of weeks after almost half a decade, yet I never could feel any gap. It was like we will become the same old KVite if we are dressed up in navyblue-white. Perhaps that how friendships in school are forged and thats why we are bestfriends....

Snapshot of Monsoon

2008-06-19T20:08:00.000-07:00

Umbrellas, folded up jeans, polythenes to wrap up the used - wet umbrellas, all day wet hair and things suchlike marks the monsoon carnival. Not only its arrival but when it starts dancing around it becomes and fine and romantic weather for people like me, who sit at home, doing nothing otherthan staring at the dusky sky and the other side is a combat for those living in huts and clay houses.
The air conditioned big black car runs through the drowned road with the wipers clearing up the water at some intervals. The people inside it talks about the mismanagement of traffic in the rains, the cause of water loggings ending up with melting make-ups during the rains. And that man beside the big black car, sitting in the window seat of the bus on his way home thinks if he would get a rickshaw that late when he gets down from the bus. Or again he has to fold up his trousers and swim through the water with the files and the bundle of rotis in his hand. His wife could not make them due to damped stove, may be!
Then comes the lady with that kid returning from the series of tuitions after school. The child looks like a keyed-doll that has to be active till his parents keep the keys moving. He went to school this morning, splashing and making fun in the water! School ends and there starts his race against other kids with the huge list of tuitions and classes. Monsoon hardly makes any difference to his routine. The mother, carrying the school bad, holding the umbrella in one hand and the kid in the other continuosly scolds the kid where the kid is totally involved in the orange candy he has in his hand!
There, is the group of youngsters chatting over a cup of tea in the cha-er dokan, laughing away to glory. Even they exhibit different fashions of folded up denim. The old-man with tea and one biscuit in reminiscing about his youth seeing these young ones and desperately tries to be a part of the bunch of laughters.
In the middle of the road, is a stuck up van with chickens tied up on it. The van-puller is annoyed, angered and detested as he knows that the traffic jam is because of him. Yet he can't manage to pull his van out of the chaos and hence facing all the galis and dhamkis from all around. He is wet, tired and perhaps has fever, may be! Temper is so obvious to be lost.
The chickens that are tied up are all wet, looking like one single lump of white creatures. They know thier destiny will lead them to the stomaches, yet struggling hard to escape with a chore of pak-paks ( the sound :P).
And now comes the traffic police standing all day long in that rain, without anyone to share a word of complain. Whistling and waving hands, wet clothes that dries up and again gets wet but he stands with the compulsive responsibility of managing the traffic and yet criticised on even a petty ocassion. His children and wife spends thier day waiting and waiting.
Okay, now here I am, standing in the shade of my college, seeing people and arranging my thoughts in words. After a tired day of running after my VP to get some documents attested, I stand there, hungry, sufferring from the fashion of not carrying an umbrella and trying to fold up my jeans too!

How am I going to die?

2008-06-05T00:11:00.000-07:00

My exams are over. My life currently is a no-college, no-studies, no-work, all-sleep and all-eat life that I am leading. Hence this absolutely meaningless post.
Yesterday night I was talking to a buddy o' mine and in the conversation I realised that I never thought about one issue which actually can be the most exciting and fascinating one in my daily procastinations. So I thought. And I am writing.
The question which was the food of my thought was -> How am i going to die!
To begin with it, I think, as of now, that I don't fear death. May be because I have never seen it closely or may be bacause I seriously DON'T!

*I don't want to die in some hospital. I am very scared of operations, saline or blood channels that sticks pierced to your body till you are out of the hospital or the world. Moreover, the smell of hospitals almost faints me. Thus hospitals gets striked-out.

*I don't want to commit suicide, The reaons being :
1) its a murder
2)someone or the other will be blamed even if no one is responsible. First of all, everyone's gonna suspect Ron, which i never want. After that, postmortems, reports, police, FIRs... omg its damn troublesome. People are not gonna find time to cry :-(
3)I can't demand my last wish.
4)Wif it doesnt work and i dont die..... the rest of my life I will listen ONLY to lectures
5)and lastly, WHY the hell will i commit suicide?

*I don't want to die of any terminal illness, reaons are obvious!

So the conclusion is that I actually don't know what will I die of but then I know how I want LIVE the life I have. At the end of the day, I want that when I look back lying in my death bed, I must find that I have been a good daughter, a good girl, a good human being, a good wife and a good mother and no one got hurt because of me and I have lead a meaningful life! If these things I fulfill then i think that seriously I wont fear death!

I

2008-05-23T00:47:00.000-07:00

remain happy these days. Don't know why, but I do! Enjoying every moment as it comes to the very bit of it. Smiles and giggles paving my way. Laughing away all the pains and agonies with totally meaningless PJs! Suddenly everything around me has become rosy and pleasant. Life is playing a different music altogether. Music that brings joy!

It is like knowledge coming in a flash :
MishtiZaa: LIFE??? :(
Someone: Yes LIFE !! :)
MishtiZaa (realizes) : hmmm, LIFE :D!!!
So am indebted to that someone!

I feel proud of being myself. Proud of every little qualities I bear. Proud of being a bit too girlish! :D Recollections, debates about now-a-days-burning-topics, vulgarities, bad jokes right in the middle of a serious-talk and what not! Discovering new aspects that was dormant in these 20 years that I spent. Thinking simple and short. I don't feel the brutal weight of growing up anymore. So what if I grow up, I still am the same person as I always was. I feel special. What else do you need when you are regarded as someone's BEST friend. I don't ! These days I just smile and smile..... like this -> :D!

Alter-Self

2008-05-13T05:32:00.000-07:00

Lonely verses and aloof words
Unarranged emotions.
Blank and blatant
Remains the residue of life!
Thought faces the dead-end
And mind becomes numb.
We sit being at odds
With our own alter-self!
Perception of the wrong
Becomes cloudy and equivocal
When we leave ourselves
Amidst the long dark way
Just a little behind
From where we can see the dawn!
A little more could we walk
A little more could we hope.
Devil inside dragging us behind,
A little more could we fight!

Blue n White

2008-05-12T02:16:00.000-07:00

When my days started off with blue skirt, white shirt and a red belt, life was perhaps much simpler and synonymous to fun. When we started growing up, both in grades and mind, one such fine morning brought two persons who became what we were taught in much lower standards, F.R.I.E.N.D.S!! One was an unruffled, naive and a sweet lass and another was unpredictable, unlawful and a bit messed up! Just for the convenience of reading rest of the post let's name them. The former one be, hmmm... penguin and the latter one be Billy! :D
Ups and downs, heap of problems and quarrels yet one or two sweet smiles paved our way through the lanes of our school. A school-life which witnessed almost every uncomplicated yet tangled situations. Penguin was always kind of away from any chaos, yet supporting every troubled soul with all her might! The good-homework-doer and the tall-girl was always there by my side whenever I planned a prank on someone! The criminal-brain was mine and the post-crime-healer was her. A typical Sagittarian and mild personality with a EXTREMELY high pitched voice! :P
I still remember all her bashings and encouragements for me to do my homeworks IN TIME!
Oh yes, she's an awesome artist and drew her heart away to glory. Be it drawing classes or Hindi handwriting, she was the BEST! Okay enough of penguin-saga.... now it's time for Billy.
Ahemmm..... Billy was not my friend at the beginning. We started off with severe [ mind you, SEVERE] grudges against each other. Reasons not relevant!
One whole year witnessed the tit-for-tats and though innocent, but behind back games!
But I still don't figure out how we became, what I mentioned as F.R.I.E.N.D.S and that to so much gradually that I didn't even realize till the day I left school. We never had much of SWEET memories but we do have memories a lot viz. starting from the "scandals" of science class to Sanskrit tuitions, from chatting for hours o'er the net to SARKAR! :D Okay that’s it, I really don't have much memories to share actually... Billy was a subtle but inevitable friend in school. Perhaps he is even that one person with whom I fought the most. I don't think that there is anyone else in my life with whom I spent so much of negative days as I did with him.
But after all, the blue remained blue and the white remained white. Memories of blue n white days were the most colorful ones I have ever had. I just have one question unanswered now and that is Why do we grow up and leave all those days behind?

YAY!!

2008-03-17T10:19:00.000-07:00

Suddenly life around me has become so much beautiful and pleasant.
The buses always have a seat free. My alarm clock is working amazingly and I can see "morning" these days. I even developed a penchant for my books and studies. My PC speakers have recovered from whatever they were sufferring themselves. I found the lost cd of mine which had my favorite collection of country music. I have again started making friends. The ants also look cute these days. And my favorite color is again PINK. :)

p.s. if the post does not make any sense to you then its ok!!!!!

Hidden Treasure

2008-03-03T08:52:00.000-08:00

We have a treasure that belongs to us alone!
Our own individual characteristics. Our individuality is what forms the basis of our character. Because of our individuality we have a way of life and mission that is ours alone! Our individuality is something special and singularly our own. No one else can posses that!
It is part of our very being, something we exude naturally, without thinking about.
Life is about expressing and developing that individuality as fully as possible or it can be coined as self-realisation.
The fact that we have been born into this world means that we have a unique mission to fulfill. If we didn't, we would never have been born. The universe does nothing in vain.
Everything has meaning.
Each living thing has its own unique identity, role and purpose.
There is no point in a plum trying to be a berry. The plum should bloom like a plum, revealing its unique characteristics to the very fullest. Not only does doing so accord with reason, it is the right path to happiness and fulfillment in life! That makes life interesting. How dull things would be if we were all alike. :)

A Tag Way Out

2008-02-26T06:56:00.001-08:00

Well when you don't have anything to write about, a tag is like putting a commercial ad between the regular stuff... So Dreamy deserves a THANK YOU!! [thank you dreamy... :D]
I am actually suffering from word-scarcity so I begin ->

Life Ten years ago:

hmmm... Life in white n blue. Early morning bus chasing and standing in the late-line everyday. Singing the national anthem thinking "omg I forgot to bring the homework copy". Practice made the excuse-making skill perfect but even then carried remarks in school dairy which had to return with parent's signature as a token of the untold conspiracy. Exam time followed by the haunting report card day. Complains and complains and hmmm.... okay, complains and complains... thats it. Well, on the happier side, lunch time gossips, playing lock n key and attending the next class like bhigi-billi's. When the school bell rang, a rush and race to block the window seat of the bus by just throwing the bag. The alu-kablis and churan... the pangas and dhamkis... the taking sides and friendships...

omg I miss you school.....

Life Five years ago.

Okay this was the most eventful phase of my school life. Class 11 in a new school. We even shifted our residence from the traditional north kolkata to the hip n happening south. Peak adolescence and bloomig teen age... altogether life was totally exciting. My best friend was my neighbour and my boyfriend was also my neighbour. okay can life be anyways better than this??? Me and my best friend , we were partners in every possible crimes viz. looting the gariahat junk jewellery shops, smoking silk-cut( mind you, not the lights), night stays, crank calls, adam-teasing, boozing till we got drunk... et all.... those days witnessed my growing up as a girl, my long crying nights after my break up, my crushes on almost every good looking guy, me slogging before exams and the most important of all I got my mentor in this very phase of life.

Life tomorrow.

I have to finish the graphics syllabus, oh shit I even have tuition in the morning.

Five locations I would love to run away to.

1-> Japan, my mentor is there and I completely love the people out there.

2-> To a small hut in the rural areas of Paro, Bhutan.

3->In a concert where there are Rashid Khan, John Abraham, Enrique Iglesias, Prem Joshua and George Cloony.

4->To a meadow with lush green field and sheep around and I am having a pen, papers and a guitar.

5->To our house in Dakshineshwar and live with my grandma throughout my life.

Five bad habits I have.

1-> Nail biting :

2->Advising people unnecessarily. Well I am seriously working on it.

3->Not to be able to control laughing once I start.

4->Making routines everyday and not even trying to stick to it.

5->Eating like a pig. :P

Five things I will never wear.

1->Shakha n Pola. Bengalis will know what are these.

2->Any garment that exposes your belly-button.

3->A platform-heeled shoe.

4->A wrist-band. I don't know why!

5->Clothes having flags of any country.

Five biggest joys at this moment.

1->I am home.

2->Dinner is ready.

3->I did not fight with Ron , mom or dad today.

4->Our project is through.

5->I am alive.

Something to achieve by next year.

Admission to a good university in US.

Something that impacted me last year.

Mine and Ron's break-up.

What will I miss about 2007.

Septonexus!

Five things I want to do before I die.

1->Live life as it comes.

2->Be happy whenever I can.

3->Don't want to be bogged down by problems of life.

4->Show mom and dad that I did not settle in US leaving them alone.

5->Marry Ron and have a wonderful life with him.

Okay...Done...Pls Comment guys :D!

And I tag Pranay, Rashi, Nothingman, The None and whoever is getting highly bored!!

I wish

2008-02-16T14:21:00.000-08:00

I were a princess. Not wearing gaudy gowns or carrying a wand in hand but dressed in colourful lehnga-choli and chunri, adorned with churis and jhumkas.... (sounds pretty much... duhh... right?) Actually this is a phase of life that I am going through. I am suffering from a "feeling-like-and-wannabe-princess" complex....
Reasons are countless viz. my rajasthan trip, after effects of its dreams and not to forget the just seen movie Jodha Akbar. Ok, yes, I am being a kid, dreaming bollywoodish but then comeon afterall who will backoff if one is asked to be a king or a queen? It's always fascinating. Just that these whishes have faded away amidst our peer-pressured-pragmatisms.
The magnanimity of the quilas, beautiful architectures, lots of jwelleries, colourful festivals, praises and hails, extravagant leisures and tons of pride.... what else can anyone dream about.
Viewing it from a different angle - King, authoritarian rule, armed forces, zeal of conquering and capturing, politics, wars. But if we take a sneak peek into our very own "today", won't we find the same things with just names changed - ministers, exploited citizens, nuclear threats, "greed" of power, warfares. Only thing that changed is the authoritarian rule. Now it is called DEMOCRACY. (omg! I really feel like laughing). Authoritarian rule in which the king is always concerned about the welfare of his land and its people is now a far fetched dream. Implementation of democracy was a joke on the face of the dynasties. Now the "Kings" are elected from among the people just not to bother themselves about the country and its people when they become "kings".
Talking about myself I really have thought about this a lot.
What if someday you wake up in the morning and see that you are living in a palace where you can sing, dance, paint, play, write do anything you like and live happily ever after!!! Okay I finally woke up and the morn light knocked me down. After a whole day's work, when I am tired and worn out...I still wish.... If I WERE A PRINCESS!!!! :)

Tall-Mall

2008-02-12T19:46:00.000-08:00

A new mall has opened near my place. It is SUPPOSED to be the biggest mall in Asia. Being a part of the crowd I was so damn excited to visit it. So me, ron and dreamy- we made a plan to go to the tall-mall, as we coined it.
It was big-real big. Huge crowd. Everyone went there to see. Even us. See? See what? Ok that is an examination-standard question. Guys were seeing gals. Gals were seeing other gals. Old fellows were seeing the young guys and gals. Young guys and gals were in no way interested in the old fellows. Couples were seeing the shops and pertinent stuffs viz. gifts, candles, lingerie et all and romancing around them. Homemakers were seeing the price tags. Husbands were seeing the things which he is never going to buy for his wife. Hey wait a min- did i say that we went to see the MALL? Well. Varied interests.
The tall-mall was not that tall. But big. When you enter you can only see escalators moving up n down, up n dowm with hundreds of people in it. Some scared of it, some excited.
Tall-mall is a very good tourist place as even people who have money cannot buy anything. You can only See. Shops branded, non-branded, big, small, highly expensive, moderate expensive.....
But strangely everyone was shopping but through the window *lolz* Even the Jockey showroom was full of people running thier hands through 5000 bucks lingerie. Ritu Kumar's showroom was as crowded as the junk jewellery shops of Gariahat, where you can shop heavily if you have only 100 bucks. Ron found a shirt, cotton one, good-not bad. It would have cost 1500 bucks in any branded shop viz. van huesen... but the price tag whispered that it was of 5000 bucks.
Anyways, comeon enough of money hanky-panky. The shops that could make us enter was Starmark, Spencers and PlanetM. They were like their other peers.
But the most amazing part of the day is - Dreamy could buy a book from THAT tall-mall which was only 60 bucks and Ron found a Mercedes Benz for 150 bucks *lolz*

Private Conversation

2008-01-30T20:12:00.001-08:00

Myself : Hi, after a long time..yea?
Me : Yes glad to see you again, wanted to talk to you actually.
Myself: Okay. But why are you alone today?
Me : Ron is in college and I, as usual, am bored with studies, classes et all.
Myself: So how do feel being alone after such a long time? And thats why you are able to see me... I am always there but you can never find me when you are NOT ALONE!
Me: Alone? what do you mean? Many a times I am alone, what do you mean by after such a long time? My friends hardly accompany me to my house and mom dad also returns late these days... so most of the time I am alone only. Why dont I see you then?
Myself: hmm... get the right meaning of being alone at first place, then you'll undertsand yourself.
Me: (in deep thought)
Myself: Don't think too much, its simple. You see me only when you want to, only when you want to spend some time with yourself, only when you want to see your own faults, only when you want to praise yourself. Precisely you see me when you introspect!
You don't have to tell me your worries, I know all o' them.
Me: I am .....
Myself: No, never be envious. Envy and jealousy are like parasites which dwell in you just to take all the good things away from you and leaves you when you are no better than a green-yucky-creature!
Me: What should I...
Myself: Talk to me, try to find your own faults and loopholes. Trust me, the best way to fight those two parasites is to make yourself more strong and to have unperturbed determination.
Me: I want...
Myself: Then you should study with all your might. Give your best effort. Never look at the peak of the mountain when you climb. You will demoralise yourself and end up unfinished. Always take the next step cautiously and sincerely then you'll see that you have already reached the peak!
Me: Thankyou...
Myself: Never forget talking to me when you are angry and envious! Take Care...

Rajasthan

2008-01-25T11:04:00.000-08:00

Lovely sunsets, beautiful colours, lots of shopping, hell lot of a journey and desh raag! It was the land of sand dunes and forts that I went to, for a break in my "urban" busy life!
It was not the usual tourist-fascinating spots and sites that touched my heart but it was the most unnoticeable and unappealing regular things that hardly anyone could perceive amidst the beauty.
Forts and havelis always have their own part of it but I have never seen that lakes i.e. mere inland water bodies can ever be an integral part of the “sight-seeing”. Why is it so, this I think will be obvious at the end of my post.
The first word that struck me when I landed in Rajastan was “helplessness”. The poor are not of lower caste instead they belong to Rajputs, who once upon a time used to be the richest and now their extravagance have dragged their successors into a single storied, clay-made houses with small-scale handicraft as their livelihood. The forts which were their own houses are now either tourist preys or they are converted into 5 star hotels for the riches where the once residents are somehow managing with sukhi roti and achar as there is no (mind you, NO) vegetation which the poor ones can afford. The very little vegetation that is available is consumed by the “higher strata” and they do not drip down to the “lower” ones even a drop! SO, in the 45 degree heat in daytime they hunch for water and in the -10 degree cold at night they shiver with a coarse chaddar and no-sleep! Such is the most crowded tourist attraction of India. Cities like Jaipur, Jodhpur, and Udaipur are budding townships with middle class who seems to be millionaires in contrast to their fellow residents. So you will not see helplessness anywhere. There are artificial farms, exports which really do not make the residents feel that they are staying in the desert-land. But in cities like Bikaner and Jaisalmer, people are not only preys of poverty but also are deprived of their basic needs. They are mere preys of nature. Hot sands, no vegetation, no water ….. Could there be anything more?

Peeking in the city called Jaisalmer:

This is Rakshi; he belongs to the Patwon, a family who used to be the closest of kins of the Chauhans during their rule. The photo above is inside Patwon ki haveli which was made of yellow stone, the most expensive in country and the bedroom used to have beds with gold carvings. Rakshi, the doll maker, belongs to this very family. He said “ Virasat me toh kamra mil gaya hai haveli mein par pet bharne ke liye kuch toh karna parega, haveli ka sara samaan waisehi para hai lekin tijori puri ki puri khali hai” [I have got a room in the haveli by the virtue of my legacy but there is no money, all the things are in tact but the treasure box is empty. So I have to do something to earn]

Zooming into the real picture :

This is a village near the city rather better called as the ruins. The structures you see there are the houses. Around 20 people stay here, in the middle of no where. This village is named as Kannoi.

Taking a look if the city, you will notice that no house is double storied. This is because they cannot afford. Moreover all the houses are either painted white or blue so that they can radiate the heat. The far away windmills are the only weapons they have. Nature has gifted them only with winds be it as hot as steam or freezing, the windmills keep on working somehow and so their lives. Yet the Fort stands to witness all the extravagance turn into misery.

If you see this with an eye of a tourist the word is “Wow” but if you see this with an eye of its people the word is “Why Me??” We went there at 3 in the noon. The purpose was Sunset in the Sands. The vehicles that took us were Camels.

This was the camel that carried me to the spot. It was around a kilometer. I was on the Camel looking here and there before I noticed the person directing the Camel. He was barefoot and bare-stomached. Walking in the hot sand to fill his stomach or who knows for some other and more serious a reason may be!
The Camel was named Babloo and all the camel – men revered their camels as gods who provide them with food. In misery also there was compassion.

This is Vikram, a school-going boy who walks 25 kilometers from his village to this spot to sell his stuff so that he can earn for his entire family. He pays for his own education. He is saving for his elder sisters wedding. He was selling a 10 rupee Lay’s Chips packet for 12 bucks. Other people, who could spent thousands of bucks buying Zardausi Saris found it too difiicult to give 2 bucks extra for this boy!

Music is in their blood. With legacy, wealth can get eroded but who could snatch the talents away from them. Amit, the little boy has never seen school yet he is desperate to go to one. His father, again a Rajput successor, is now playing a small instrument called Mhor with his son playing the gypsy. After 5 minutes of creating music they are paid 5 bucks. Music which was not supported by extravagant lyrics or high quality mixer and woofers. Music that was in prompt to, straight from the heart and minute to minute creation. We pay hundreds of bucks to listen to singers on stage but never had the heart to appreciate ( forget about paying) these composers and maestros in their own ways.

When it was around 5:30 I hurried up a hill to see the sunset. Some sand went inside my snickers and then tears did not stop rolling down my eyes. The sand was hot as if it had been burned in fire. And then I looked around. All the camel-men, the roaming sellers, the music players and don’t know how many of them were BAREFOOT.

They are staying there with misery beyond measure and yet if you ask them why don’t you move to other villages that is out of this Thar Desert, they would say “apna hi to des hai aur yeh reth apni mitti ! “
Loads n Loads of salutes to these victors of Life……

Ron

2007-12-20T06:38:00.000-08:00

This blog may sound a bit off-track and boring but right now I am feeling like dedicating something for that person with whom i begin my day and end all my agonies. So this blog!
Unlike normal beginings our's was a bit fast, a bit crisp and a bit sudden. Four Five days of interaction,one morning realisation, evening comtemplation and late night proposal was the whole story of how it began!
The most wonderful person I ever came across chose me to be with him till the day we will close our eyes forever.
Ron, as I call him, is the person who is my inspiration for life. Love is an understatement about what we share.
But it wasn't a fish-to-water easy start. The more we fought the more we understood that we can read each other. All the cherishing memories and even all the nightmarish days I shared with him.
From lessons on how to eat with chopsticks whenever we went out for a date - to - quarreling over who will buy the bus tickets this time!
From hassles on why shouldn't I wear sleeveless tops - to - cute nags for me to buy him a wrist chain!
From the screaming abuses - to - the cute baby talks!
We enjoyed each moment that we spent together.
Sometimes he behaved as my guardian and protected me from whatever came my way and yet sometimes he was a child, a cute li'l baby starving for care and cuddles!
Sometimes I slept all the way home from college in his lap and sometimes we sang together making all the fellow passenegrs annoyed!
Before he dawned in my life I had a set of definitions for all things that I knew.But he redefined everything and made the world around me look much more rosy and beautiful.
Tremendous love, unending respect, unshaken trust, tangling problems, complicated thoughts, suspicion, bitterness, abuse and whatever but.....
but we still want to be together all the more!
I will always be thankful to him for making a sensitive human being out of a twitchy school girl, for making a 50 percenter a 90 percenter, for tolerating all my foolish and irritating decisions, for supporting me through all my stresses, for giving 5 wonderful friends and for giving me you!

My Bean-Bag

2007-12-16T09:31:00.001-08:00

The new member of our house! At last someone who is fatter than me! Yes, it's my bean bag ( i hope you know what a bean bag is, in case u don't then it's a leather-deshaped-big-real big bag with small thermocol balls stuffed in it) It is a perfect sitting arrangement for a lazy fat idle blabber!
And now I will try to be bean bag and express its feelings in words as it would have done if it would have had a mouth or suchlike!

BeanBag : ( In the morning) mmmm....uuhhh...good morning everyone! Oops.... hey you cockroach get off. eeeeuu! You guys do not have any work right? You dump your bums where ever you want. I swear from today I will spray some of those insect killers on myself!
Ah there comes the girl with coffee in her hand and also...newspaper??? Sure she doesn't have to go to college today.That obviously implies that this fat and unaware-of-her-flab girl will almost squeeze me into a worsely shaped thing. ah ah ah ah...there.....huh..... fatty! How will you feel if a dino sits on you girl!
By the way, why don't you take a bath and then push your bums on me! At least i wont have to smell your out-of-the-bed clothes!!!!!!
Wooow.....hey where is she going.Why do i need to care man...i am relieved!!! aaahhhhhh!!!!!

Me: (dragging the bean bag to my living room and switching the tv on)

BeanBag:Hey stop! Leave me! ouch... leave me!!! Stop dragging.... at least you can lift me up!! ouch...ooosh....ah.....!!
Now what! Stop beating me you fool.... i am in a good shape....you wanna sit? then please do.
Oh tv? good good!
Wooooooooooooooooow.......shakira....so sexy man...wish if i could be her sitting thing... those ********Oh no....news???? shit!!! What the hell will i do knowing if someone is robbing someone! Bull's shit!Hey where are you going? Changing?!?!?!?! Oh no...shit shit...at least you can close the door!!![blush][blush]

Me: Off to college ...

BeanBag: Yippie.....I am free....looooo la li la...tu ru ru ta ra ri ra ri ra......

[and this goes on and on and on.... but i absolutely love my chubby kushi pushi bean bag]

Prayer

2007-12-09T03:01:00.000-08:00

A bright sunny day, my mother comes and informs that we have to go to someone's place -- a 4 member family - the mother, father, elder brother and younger sister! The young girl currently being a Philadelphian student, the father is ill, cranky and unhappy, the mother being a mother is the anchor! The brother is blessed! As a child he went to school and played. Early teen brought him a disease called malaria which is treated with quite easiness in india only if diagnosed... Those were the last days which could tag him as a normal kid! He is now called "mentally n physically challenged" just because he knows nothing beyond his class 8 studies!
But still he talked, played, cared and prayed
Always he greeted us saying "ami kalke theke wait korchhi tomader" [ i am waiting for you since yesterday]
He shared that he prays to god twice a day! Morning he asks god to make him grow into a strong man and in the evening he prays for all the students in his special school so that they can go to office! Latter they shifted to another city with fresh environment! They could no more afford any treatment as the father got retired and younger sister was studying!
I have always been taught that prayer from a pure heart can change anything but never witnessed suchlike!
This time when we visited thier place we couldn't see him! The mother said that he went somewhere ans will be back in few minutes!
..................................

We were engrossed in our chat when someone entered the room, seeing us he touched my mother's feet and greeted me! A tall, good-looking man wearing hectic-day-working clothes and a laptop bag with files hunched in it!
His mother said " ki chinte parchho? Eta subho!"
Subho is that blessed brother of the family!
Awestruck is an understatement to describe us at that time!
No further treatment, no counselling but only mighty prayers could defet science and medicine!
..................................

Prayers, i learnt, was something that could give birth to laws and theorems as it encompassed everything beyomd man's intellect!

Tag @#$^&*

2007-12-08T03:23:00.001-08:00

For my turn, Dreamy was the one tagging me :
The rules of this blog-game are ---
1. Put your MP3 player/Media player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what.

Here I go -->

Q1)IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?
Wake me up when september ends! - GreenDay

Q2)WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Desert Rose - Sting

Wow this was good!!!!! :D

Q3)WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
I don't wanna fight - WestLife

Q4)HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Bikhra Hoon Main - Atif

omg my winamp playlist is doing too good!

Q5)WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Purani Jeans - Ali Haider

hey i am missing my group!!!!!

Q6)WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Afterglow - INXS

muah@ dreamy for tagging me! awesum game

Q7)WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Californication - Red Hot Chilli Peppers

hey the band name is more like me than the song name!!!!

Q8)WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Stand by me - John Lennon

honestly i am not cheating...this is just getting so appropriate i cant help!

Q9)WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
She'll be the one - Enrique

omg no no no i am absolutely stright...plz dont rack ur brain too much on this!!!!!

Q10)WHAT IS 2+2?
Your Body is a wonderland - John Mayer

:

Q11)DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Reason - Hoobastank

yes my best friends are actually the reasons for me!

Q12)WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Complicated - Avril Lavigne

oh shit...ron will now get mad at me

Q13)WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Trouble - Coldplay

Hey i am getting freaks now!!!!

Q14)WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
In Dino - Life in a Metro

doesnt make much sense......

Q15)WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Greenday
:(

Q16)WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Another Brick in the Wall - Pink Floyd

Q17)WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Picture of U - Boyzone

duh.

Q18)WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
The unforgiven - Metallica

I know. I have done so many bad things to ppl.... i l always b unforgiven!!!!

Q19)WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Pal - KK

: duh.

Q20)WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Speed of Sound - Coldplay

Q21)WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Unchained Melody - Righteous brothers

very ture....

Q22)WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
Words - Boyzone

wow at last this was good!!!

whew...over!!!!

But was an ammmmmazing game - oh - tag!!!

I am not tagging anyone now.....but anyone who read this pls do it! Too good a tag!

Chao!

Ruthless

2007-12-07T06:09:00.000-08:00

Walking down the lane
Looking for no one
Yet passes by,
The wind!
Alone in the road with
Joy and happiness
Yet something exists
The void!
Failure was never the option
And not success the desire
Just moving ahead
Along with my heart beat!
But with the world's harsh screams
Fades away the beating sound
And there I am
Alone in the silent realm!
Making me strong
Making me determined
That from tomorrow
Even I will run!

At last....

2007-11-16T13:05:00.001-08:00

Whoosh! I thought I was going through a "writer's block" yet I discovered that it was lack o' time!
Perhaps this phase of my not posting any blog was the most eventful days of this dying year. Durga puja made me meet the memories of my school days with my friends with whom what i did on saptami can be descripted in one word as mosti ( in that gud ol' verbatim). What I remember is maddox square, we are 7 of us, totally outta control with bhepu and bubble making thing setting the trend of paglami!
The days after were equally colourful and exciting. Don't remember the very details of them though!
Remarkable events that reigned my holidays were Rizwan-Priyanka story, the movie Saawariya, the MahaMichheel and the most elusive results of our Part II exam! A lot to write n to critize...... (pls bear with me :-) )

Starting with the most talked about Rizwan-Priyanka stroy. Oops it's bit too much of a taboo..better not to have a opinion of it, who knows this blog-post of mine may be flashed in media then! Lolz (he he he)

Moving on to the most low rated SLB production movie Saawariya! Not many have seen it though. My post may help them decide!
It is indeed a very slow, sordid and bluish ( strictly to be taken literally) film. The wardrobe of the girl comprises of clothes of a thousand shades of blue in black! And the guy is more girlish!
Inspite of these, I liked the movie! It depicts a fantastic-practical world in which there are no bollywoodish twists and no happily-living-ever-after kind of ending. The dreamy part of it was very petite n innocent yet over all it had a touch of pathos!

Okay, now comes the MahaMichheel! Being very candid, I supported the cause but not the way!
No more criticism on this because the motif was good! [:)]

Finally n finally.... the saga of world's most delayed result. Just as an introduction to those who are not among the victims like us, our examination began in June and ended in August! The copies, even if they are mugged up and researched upon by the examiners, should get corrected by the end of 2 months! But the reality remains that our copies are not even looked-through properly, though this sometimes help[:P]! Then why on earth the results are getting delayed as if a baby will celebrate his first birthday and then come out of the womb! [:X]

huhhhhhh......

tired...

Will now write regularly ( mind you, REGULARLY)...pls do read n do comment guys !
Muah n Bye!!

Monotone

2007-09-09T22:26:00.000-07:00

Sun illuminating everything, even the cha-er kaap in front of my pc. Sunday sun shining on the window panes and I flipping through the fat newspaper bundle. Same old news, celebreties, gossips, recipes and what not! Bored, called up Ron. Clashed o'er argument, even that is same, like the newspapers! Why do sunday mornings have so much of monotone? To crush this monologue, comes the busy-monday, but guess what...That even beats the sunday... Gloomy classrom, bundles of shouting classmates but engrosed in thier own matters...Me sitting with earphones, compulsively pushed in my ears. Not even able to make out what is making everyone(mind you EVERYONE) find something interesting in a gloomy classroom in this maundy monday! Even Ron is not with me? Perhaps I am boring!

Joy

2007-08-20T22:05:00.000-07:00

Defeat.
Is not the option
But it is the fear.
Fear or defeat
Or fear of defeat
Which one destroys man?
Man - emblem of
Darwin's success!
Then how can defeat
Be an option?
Birth is the
Ultimate Victory.
And so is Death!
Then what else
To fear?
What else to testify?
Live each moment
As if it is the last!
Sing, laugh, jump
Dance, love and live
Live life!

Black.

2007-08-10T05:16:00.000-07:00

Tired and sleepless.
Long nights.
Haunting and suffocating.
But the moon,
Still stands.
Glowing.
But for What?
Perhaps nocturnal!
Whole world sleeps.
Then why not Evil.
Perhaps dreams are awake.
And thus man's blood-sight!
Corruption, murder, evil
Reigns the dark nights.
Yet an innocent
Strand of leaf
With hopes in heart
Stared at the darkness,
And so did I !

( the picture is taken by Ron, who reigns my second level of conciousness. Perhaps that is why these words came into my mind unarranged and unkempt but not meaningless!)

My day and my New friends!

2007-08-01T12:21:00.000-07:00

The very first day of my birthday-month was different. It's been ages I've had girl-friends ( mind you, friends who are girls), so decided to spent my day with them (three, being specific). After a long long time, I walked and walked just to see them shopping as I did not have the most wanted urban resource called Money! Actually we were 6 of us, two being guys were blatanly and boringly trying to analyse what we four were upto and we, the girls- Volly,barbie girl, BB and me- were playing shopping shopping as Volly coined it. With our heels aching and my head paining badly yet to fulfill the unending-woman like-desire of having the thing we want at the best price we went all the way from a good air conditioned bad shop to a bad humid place (popularly known as the NEW MARKET). Thanks to barbie girl that we had munch in this place where you get chowmein for 25 bucks and they make horrible egg-friedrice!
But when the day grew old, we all went our way but barbie girl was alone walking down the portico, crowded but yet alone! I wanted to be with my pretty and new friend but my health ditched me! :(
Now let me tell you how are my new friends!
BB is sweet, short and matured! Whats flashes by my mind when I see her is the word called gundi. She had this recent hair cut and desperately undergoing a drastic change what is known as makeover. But yet she is SWEET!!!
Volly is a "good girl" and a "genius". She shares this pain of being over blessed as in dimensions. She has an amazing vocab which she uses as aptly as possible!
Barbie Girl is very sweet, pretty and very unlike us, she is thin! She can sing, dance and laugh like a barbie! She is again very sweet!
They are my new friends gifted by that eminent person i always write about, RON !

Kernels of life....

2007-07-25T08:09:00.000-07:00

Awake till 2' o clock in a dark night, gloomy, unberable stillness (even the fan was off) with a rural after-rain smell and talking to one of the most eminent persons of my life, Ron. Was struggling to make him understand an opinion of mine which was too trivial be an "Opinion". As it's said when we try something genuinely from the core of our hearts we always find the most apt words for right places. That is how i developed this "theory" (you can say) of mine.....
It goes like this---
Everyone of us have certain kernels, or layers you may say, around our lives and our thoughts. I can describe this using a very significant living entity called pooja. Pooja is now 20 years old (yes go on reading...the age is certainly important). She has 4 layers of thoughts. Having an innumerable numbers of aquaintances whom she regards as "friendships", her outermost layer seems to be housefull, though a new friendship always gets a place in that.
As she claims " i can make friends as fast as sun's rays reach earth".
The second layer is permitted to those "aquaintances" which has developed into friendships ( friendships as per Ron). Ron says " Friends aren't those who offer you a solution when you are in trouble but friends are those who listens to you and shares it silently". Perhaps this girl, pooja, has surrendered to Ron's way to permit "aquaintances" for the second layer. The people who share a totally unmotivated relationship with her have their seats in that second layer.
The third layer, well i really cannot say anything about it because her third layer is now vacant. The enormity of this layer can be understood when you continue reading about the innnermost (i.e. the 4th layer).
The 4th layer is happy with her parents and Ron....

Have you ever been the looser.....

2007-07-16T04:07:00.000-07:00

Losing is something human mind cannot accept....mind you...human mind....but not me....its not the first time that even after having everything i felt lost....it happens to me quite often.... god gifted wonderful parents....no scarcity of wealth....not even deprived of love....but still i lose in life....i dont know why.....
I have this quality to make friends as fast as sun's rays reach the planet.....but still i am in darknes....
Is happiness so expensive? Or am i that disfavoured......

papa.....

2007-07-12T22:46:00.000-07:00

It is said that daughters are closer to their father than thier mother.....i am lucky to have that legacy....thought i wont use the word closer i but i am my father's daughter.....he was out of town for 2 days....when he returned i realised that i missed his presence so much...
Aren't fathers like the never-letting-you-down-support? for me he is.....
2 days of his stay in mumbai made my heart feel this after so many long years....Since when i was a child.....i stayed with baba with gaps of 2-3 years in between...i remember my shy tears when i saw him step-in the security check counters....i remember his calling up at every small new things happening in my life....i know that he missed my growing up and perhaps that is why he never scolds me...
The years we were together....i remember both of us giggling together as we watched tom and jerry..... i remember our debate on every new book in market....i remember so many things....
He is my first male friend....and perhaps the very best one....
We dauughters are so fateful by having this amazing gift of god!!!
Fathers are like the cocoon that protects the life within it even when they themselves are worn and torn....
I realise that the only way to repay the debt of gratitude is to realise that it cannot be repaid....
I love you baba.....

Saviour.....

2007-07-12T14:43:00.000-07:00

Not in a mood to call life as beautiful.....but it surely is....it is said that sufferings and joys are to be accepted in similar way....is it really possible? Yes if you try....
Is that what i am made for??? to be dumped and thrown away...to be the last option....Isn't this a very common question we arrive at, very often?? What do we do then? Let us be dumped or instead we ourselves be our company....befriend our hobbies....and cuddle with the non-living things that belong to us and which doesnot have the the capacity to hurt us....
If man can be cruel then man can also be the saviour!!!!!
When you drown in the sea...desperately looking for anything to grab onto....then comes the man for whom our life waits...waits through all difficulties...and the wait never gets tired...
We give all our life to our saviour....thinking him as our life....a treasure thats too close to see....and perhaps we overlook his desires.....then the saviour turns to be the cruel man just to make us realise that he was indeed the saviour and not the cruel man.....
And then we both wait...wait to be united....and the wait never gets tired....
though very much abstract but thats what my heart was telling me to write.... so i did.....
will continue to listen to my heart and write.....

My school Teachers!!!!!!!

2007-07-12T02:22:00.000-07:00

New blog though.....
Exams are damn near...but here I am blogging and writing about absolutely on a non-academic and fizul (perhaps meaningful to me at least) topic....but i really feel like writing this today...
We grow up in life but have we ever thought of the people because of whom we learnt soooo many things...we learnt what is mother...what is family....what is food....what is sky...what is good what are bad....nopes...we hardly have time to think all these right?? But I do...As you know by now that i do have a lot of time....even before exams...
Anyways back to what i was saying...yes i was talking about our teahcers!!! our mentors!!!!
Regressing to my school days...before anything else i remember my class teacher...when i was a child....i cried all the way to school (most of us do that :-) ) I cried because I was going away from my mom....but as i entered my class I noticed someone mom-like.... she was my teacher....I learnt that there are people in the world who can take care of you when your mother is not there....
I again remember my result day....i was tensed.... mom was there with me though.....but as my teacher entered...i felt that now nothing can go wrong....there she is...who taught me!!!!!
Teachers, i always felt, are people to whom we must be greatful more then our parents....
Parents take care of thier own child....think of our teachers...who take care of thousands of little lives like us.....not even thinking of a discrimination....
As I remember my school teachers....tears roll down my cheeks....they were those unknown people who were parent-like.......isn't it amazing!!!!
I will ALWAYS always be greatful to teachers who puts life into god-made bodies!!!!

(will write more on this as my thoughts knock my heart)